What if instead of Agent 47 you were just some doofus who ‘accidentally’ killed a guy in a hotel room? Dispose of the evidence in this physics-based stealth game

Look, you’re no Agent 47. You’re not an expert in stealth, assassination, and the disposal of corpses. You’re just a normal person in a regular hotel room who has accidentally, or maybe “accidentally,” murked some dude. And now you and your friends need to get rid of the evidence.

In physics-stealth game We Are So Cooked, you and your pals are in a bit of trouble. Accident or not, a dead body in a hotel room is difficult to explain, so you’ve got to haul it out of there. Problem is, bodies aren’t easy to carry: they’re heavy, floppy, and have been known to leave a trail of blood behind them.

“Grab a limb each to move faster, but coordinate carefully—if you pull left and your friend pulls right, you’re going to drop him down the stairs,” developer Dwarven Brother says. “The body snags on doorframes, knocks over vases, and slides off laundry carts. Every step is a potential disaster.”

Plus, this is a hotel. Waddle past the elevator with the corpse at the wrong time, and the doors may open, revealing your crime to a bunch of witnesses who will scream. Drag the guy down the wrong hallway and you’ll be spotted by surveillance cameras. And those guys with guns dressed in black suits? They’re security guards. Some have dogs that can smell a corpse you may have hurriedly stuffed into a laundry cart a moment ago. You should probably avoid them.

Improvisation is your only weapon. “Turn the environment into your toolkit. Find a wheelchair to roll the body past reception. Use a mop to clean up blood trails. Throw a Squeaky Toy to distract a guard,” the developer says.

People getting caught trying to remove a dead body from a hotel

(Image credit: Dwarven Brothers)

You can’t manage all that yourself, however. “You can hold an item, OR you can drag the body. You can’t do both. You’ll have to scream at your friends to open doors for you.”

Sounds like a fun, goofy, stealth comedy to me, one that’s definitely better with friends, though it can be played solo as well. There’s no release date, or even a trailer that I can find, but there are a few amusing gifs that show the game in action on its Steam page.

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