“If at first you don’t succeed, it’s because you sold the Warhammer of the Winnet King.” That’s the wrong-headed message I’ve taken from Elden Ring and it’s why I’m half-dreading the near-inevitable release of Elden Ring 2.
Logically, I know that having the right weapon or item isn’t a cast iron guarantee of success; there’s every chance that twenty-foot tall boss will boot you into orbit before you can so much as unsheathe your sword. But FromSoftware’s titles have, game by game, turned me into a major hoarder – and Elden Ring casually dialled things up to eleven.
The rot started with the original Demon’s Souls and its very first boss, Phalanx; or, at least, the first boss that wasn’t specifically designed to insta-kill you. It was a menacing mash-up of compost heap and medieval armoury, named after the military formation it vaguely resembled.
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