Netflix’s Tekken anime looks awful, and I can’t wait to watch it

I am a King main, for my sins. There’s something about parading around as a towering slab of hardened meat, topped off with a jaguar mask, that does it for me. Clotheslining a J-Pop icon, repeatedly kicking a bear in the shins, or slamming the soles of both feet into a geriatric sociopath feels good. Mixing up throws and making people rage in lobbies as I spend about 60 seconds breaking all their limbs, one by one, gives me a dopamine hit.

So in the latest trailer for Netflix’s adaptation of Tekken – Tekken: Bloodline – when I see King doing his trademark Lasso Kick and smash Jin’s head in, I’m hyped. I’m thinking “wow, OK, this might be a Netflix anime that doesn’t totally undermine its source material”. Except, it probably will. But that’s fine, because Tekken is big, dumb, and full of fun, anyway – Netflix running with its over-the-top violence, fan-service, and intergenerational trauma is fine.

It’s not like the streaming company has much to butcher; Tekken’s storyline is over-dramatic nonsense as it is. Go wild! Show me a bear fighting a devil with laser eyes. Go nuts. Tekken producer and long-time face of the series, Katsuhiro Harada, claimed Tekken has the “longest-running storyline” in a recent video – and he’s probably right, at this point. I hope the writers draw deep from Tekken’s most idiotic plot points and crafts something absurd, and compelling. If JoJo’s can do it, so can Tekken!

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