I have a theory that a lot of games try too hard. Crackdown is not one of those games. Crackdown knows that it’s ridiculous. It has a story that wouldn’t look out of place in a ’80s action film starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. You’re a biologically-enhanced agent and, eh, I don’t know… There are some bad guys and crime lords and stuff. Just kill them all. Like an ’80s action film, you haven’t come here for a fascinating plot. You just want some fun. Crackdown is delightfully pure in its intention – and the first game’s commitment to chaos should make you cast Crackdown 3 aside with disdain.
Somehow, while Crackdown 3 is on Xbox Game Pass, Crackdown is not. It’s better than that. It’s just inexplicably free on the Xbox Marketplace. I paid £40 for it back when it first came out and I was a student. I probably skipped a few meals to pay for it. I’d do it all over again too. Who needs food when there are orbs to collect, right?
It felt like a breath of fresh air back then. It still kind of does. Honestly, I didn’t really bother pursuing crime lords. It would have made a terrible Arnie movie but I just leapt around collecting orbs. 90 minutes of Arnie climbing up a massive tower before messing up at the last hurdle? It would have made the last Terminator film look like a modern classic.
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