New Final Fantasy 14 site update stabs the final pin into my conspiracy board, leaving me 99.9% sure I know what the new physical ranged job is

Picture this: I am emerging from a pile of paper, red string, and thumbtacks, hair (I have hair in this scenario) dishevelled, breathless, yelling like I’ve well and truly lost it: I knew it! I knew we were getting a crossbow in Final Fantasy 14! I am then carted away by people in white coats and dispensed in an abandoned warehouse, where Naoki Yoshida emerges with a loaded pistol. I know too much.

Alright, I’m probably not that conspiratorially out of lockstep with the FF14 community about the new job, especially given this latest piece of evidence, but I do feel vindicated. Back during the latest fanfest, some more details emerged about the as-yet-unannounced physical ranged job. Namely, a couple of soundbytes and some trailer snippets.

You can read my full conspiracy board I just linked, which also includes trying to analyse the shape of a catgirl’s wand to prove that it was, in fact, a crossbow bolt. And here I am, completely vindicated, because the patch 7.5 site’s just been updated with a new image.

Look at what’s on her back. That’s a crossbow. She’s using a crossbow! I knew it! (I proceed to collapse into maniacal, unsettling laughter).

A catgirl from Final Fantasy 14 holds up her crossbow bolt. On her back is a visible crossbow weapon.

(Image credit: Square Enix)

In my mind, this pretty much clinches it: It’s almost certain that the physical ranged job in FF14 will be some kind of crossbow-wielding falconer. Square Enix wouldn’t just create a new crossbow model (and presumably a ton of bespoke animations) for a job that doesn’t exist in-game. Creative Studio 3’s a frugal one, sometimes to its own detriment.

Couple this piece of evidence with the soundbytes shared by sound director Masayoshi Soken, the actual Evercold trailer, the job symbol we were shown, the fact we know it’s a physical ranged job, that weird lalafell animation glitch—and I admit this is a stretch, but the fact it’s a norse themed expansion, and norse mythology loves its birds? I am vindicated. Now and forever.

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