![\"\"](\"https:\/\/arcader.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/top-5-video-game-characters-getting-coal-in-their-stockings-this-year.png\")
<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/arcader.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/top-5-video-game-characters-getting-coal-in-their-stockings-this-year.jpg\")
<\/article>\n5) Nathan Drake \u2013 The Uncharted Series<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\nEveryone loves Nathan Drake; he’s one of the most iconic heroes in Sony’s ever-growing roster of triple-A games that are mostly boring to play. He’s handsome, funny, charismatic, and if you’ve never seen an <\/span><\/span>Indiana Jones <\/span><\/span>movie, he seems like a totally unique and original character.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\nBut underneath Drake’s every-man veneer lies a deep, dark secret.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\nHe is literally a mass murderer. Period. Point blank. The whole thing about Uncharted games is Nathan Drake and his merry band of idiots go to a different country, kill several zip codes worth of people, then steal local ancient artifacts. In a medium filled to the brim with reprehensible behavior, Drake really is a special case here.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\nAn easy argument in Drake’s favor would be that he never kills good or innocent people \u2013 or at least not intentionally. I guess if you’re doing mental gymnastics at an Olympic level, killing thousands of people over the course of one short decade is fine, so long as they’re “bad.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\nWhat that doesn’t excuse is the plundering of a nation’s historical artifacts. This is utterly appalling, and Drake should be tried by the United Nations for his crimes against human history. Our knowledge of ancient civilizations’ art and technology has been set back untold decades by this guy trying to make a quick buck. Until Naughty Dog releases a DLC where Drake returns these artifacts to their rightful countries, then I refuse to take that studio seriously as a video game storyteller. I’m sorry, I know that’s harsh, but as the series stands now, I can not overlook this irresponsible narrative.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\nNathan Drake is a terrible person. You can quote me on that. Put coal in that man’s stocking.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\nPost-script: Did you play Uncharted 4? Drake’s also a terrible husband, good God.<\/span><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n ![\"\"](\"\/sites\/default\/files\/styles\/body_default\/public\/2021\/08\/02\/2bd6e066\/gtav1.jpg\")
<\/article>\n4) Trevor Phillips \u2013 Grand Theft Auto V<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\nHe’s also a mass murderer.\u00a0
\n\u00a0<\/p>\n ![\"\"](\"\/sites\/default\/files\/styles\/body_default\/public\/2021\/12\/20\/fe2ea7b0\/brands_9.png\")
<\/article>\n3) 97.39845-percent of all characters in modern triple-A games<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\nThey’re all mass murderers! I don’t want to get political here, but I don’t think mass murderers are on Santa’s “Nice List.” Sorry, but that’s just how I was raised.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\nNow look, I am not espousing the idea that video games cause real-world violence \u2013 that’s a harmful idea regurgitated ad nauseam by right-wing pundits that both ignores actual research and is reductive to video games as an art form. Nor am I saying video games are too violent. I love violence. You can quote me on that.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\nWhat I’m saying is, when we’re considering this list \u2013 and believe me, a lot of consideration has gone into it since I started writing it seven minutes ago \u2013 if we’re coming down on characters like Nathan Drake and Trevor Phillips for their propensity for mass murder, then we must hold all other, similar video game characters accountable as well. If we want video games to be taken seriously as a medium, then we must be willing to criticize the art form we love, hold it to higher standards, and expect better from it.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\nThis is why I am here to say: 97.39845-percent of all characters in modern triple-A games are getting coal in their stockings this year during the holidays. Too many bad boys out there on the shelves of your local GameStop being too willy-nilly with guns, swords, bombs, and the such. Unfortunately for all of them, Santa is skipping their houses this year.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n(Full disclosure: <\/span><\/span>Game Informer <\/span><\/span>is owned by the GameStop corporation, however, our parent company had no insight into the rankings or evaluations present in this article)\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n ![\"\"](\"https:\/\/arcader.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/top-5-video-game-characters-getting-coal-in-their-stockings-this-year-1.jpg\")
<\/article>\n2) Cloud Strife \u2013 Final Fantasy VII<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\nAs my colleague Jason Guisao so elegantly puts it:<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n ![\"\"](\"\/sites\/default\/files\/styles\/body_default\/public\/2021\/12\/20\/b0b80f08\/brands_10.png\")
<\/article>\n ![\"\"](\"\/sites\/default\/files\/styles\/body_default\/public\/2021\/12\/20\/75157d96\/brands_8.png\")
<\/article>\n1)\u00a0Louse The Mouse \u2013 Daze Before Christmas<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\nIf you’ve made it this far into this list, then this one should come as no surprise. Of course, the video game character Santa is skipping the most this year is Louse the Mouse from Funcom’s landmark 1994 game Daze Before Christmas.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\nI know I’m preaching to the choir here \u2013 everyone is always saying this \u2013 but Louse is such a little rat. Pun <\/span><\/span>fully <\/span><\/span>intended. This little son of a gun had the audacity to tear through the world’s Christmas presents, casting a curse on all the gifts. I swear if I could get my own hands on Louse the Mouse, for what I would do, you best believe there’d be coal in my stocking this year, too. It makes my blood boil just thinking about it.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\nLouse the Mouse is a menace to society and a threat to the holidays. And therefore, he earns the top spot on our list of video game characters most likely to get coal in their stockings.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
\n\nWas our list correct? It was! No need to leave a comment this time; we got it right. Have a good holiday!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
But underneath Drake’s every-man veneer lies a deep, dark secret.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n He is literally a mass murderer. Period. Point blank. The whole thing about Uncharted games is Nathan Drake and his merry band of idiots go to a different country, kill several zip codes worth of people, then steal local ancient artifacts. In a medium filled to the brim with reprehensible behavior, Drake really is a special case here.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n An easy argument in Drake’s favor would be that he never kills good or innocent people \u2013 or at least not intentionally. I guess if you’re doing mental gymnastics at an Olympic level, killing thousands of people over the course of one short decade is fine, so long as they’re “bad.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n What that doesn’t excuse is the plundering of a nation’s historical artifacts. This is utterly appalling, and Drake should be tried by the United Nations for his crimes against human history. Our knowledge of ancient civilizations’ art and technology has been set back untold decades by this guy trying to make a quick buck. Until Naughty Dog releases a DLC where Drake returns these artifacts to their rightful countries, then I refuse to take that studio seriously as a video game storyteller. I’m sorry, I know that’s harsh, but as the series stands now, I can not overlook this irresponsible narrative.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Nathan Drake is a terrible person. You can quote me on that. Put coal in that man’s stocking.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Post-script: Did you play Uncharted 4? Drake’s also a terrible husband, good God.<\/span><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n He’s also a mass murderer.\u00a0 They’re all mass murderers! I don’t want to get political here, but I don’t think mass murderers are on Santa’s “Nice List.” Sorry, but that’s just how I was raised.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Now look, I am not espousing the idea that video games cause real-world violence \u2013 that’s a harmful idea regurgitated ad nauseam by right-wing pundits that both ignores actual research and is reductive to video games as an art form. Nor am I saying video games are too violent. I love violence. You can quote me on that.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n What I’m saying is, when we’re considering this list \u2013 and believe me, a lot of consideration has gone into it since I started writing it seven minutes ago \u2013 if we’re coming down on characters like Nathan Drake and Trevor Phillips for their propensity for mass murder, then we must hold all other, similar video game characters accountable as well. If we want video games to be taken seriously as a medium, then we must be willing to criticize the art form we love, hold it to higher standards, and expect better from it.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n This is why I am here to say: 97.39845-percent of all characters in modern triple-A games are getting coal in their stockings this year during the holidays. Too many bad boys out there on the shelves of your local GameStop being too willy-nilly with guns, swords, bombs, and the such. Unfortunately for all of them, Santa is skipping their houses this year.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n (Full disclosure: <\/span><\/span>Game Informer <\/span><\/span>is owned by the GameStop corporation, however, our parent company had no insight into the rankings or evaluations present in this article)\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n As my colleague Jason Guisao so elegantly puts it:<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n If you’ve made it this far into this list, then this one should come as no surprise. Of course, the video game character Santa is skipping the most this year is Louse the Mouse from Funcom’s landmark 1994 game Daze Before Christmas.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n I know I’m preaching to the choir here \u2013 everyone is always saying this \u2013 but Louse is such a little rat. Pun <\/span><\/span>fully <\/span><\/span>intended. This little son of a gun had the audacity to tear through the world’s Christmas presents, casting a curse on all the gifts. I swear if I could get my own hands on Louse the Mouse, for what I would do, you best believe there’d be coal in my stocking this year, too. It makes my blood boil just thinking about it.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Louse the Mouse is a menace to society and a threat to the holidays. And therefore, he earns the top spot on our list of video game characters most likely to get coal in their stockings.\u00a0<\/span><\/span> \nWas our list correct? It was! No need to leave a comment this time; we got it right. Have a good holiday!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n <\/article>\n4) Trevor Phillips \u2013 Grand Theft Auto V<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
\n\u00a0<\/p>\n <\/article>\n3) 97.39845-percent of all characters in modern triple-A games<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/article>\n2) Cloud Strife \u2013 Final Fantasy VII<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/article>\n <\/article>\n1)\u00a0Louse The Mouse \u2013 Daze Before Christmas<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
\n