{"id":1545265,"date":"2026-04-05T15:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-04-05T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/oXMyvpsWNUtJGfdzHYWn9h"},"modified":"2026-04-05T15:00:00","modified_gmt":"2026-04-05T15:00:00","slug":"i-tried-to-become-a-pro-bowler-but-i-skipped-one-important-step-learning-how-to-bowl","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/arcader.org\/news\/i-tried-to-become-a-pro-bowler-but-i-skipped-one-important-step-learning-how-to-bowl\/","title":{"rendered":"I tried to become a pro bowler but I skipped one important step: learning how to bowl"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

AI is coming to take my job, so I’d better start looking for a new one. Luckily, there are a ton of job simulators on Steam, and I’m going to play as many as I can until I find my next career. This week’s job: <\/em>PBA Pro Bowling 2026<\/em><\/a>, a bowling sim about bowling.<\/em><\/p>\n

As a new bowler on the amateur circuit, my first day isn’t going well. I’m trying to learn how to hook the ball\u2014to roll it in a curving pattern so it hits the pins at an angle\u2014and it turns out there’s quite a lot to it. You even have to consider the oil patterns on the alley and how they affect the ball. I didn’t know there was <\/em>oil in bowling, let alone patterns <\/em>of it.<\/p>\n

Much as I respect PBA Pro Bowling 2026’s surprisingly deep physics simulation\u2014I’m a little impatient. I’ve rolled the ball like five times and have yet to make a strike. All I want to do is fling a ball and hit pins and hear that glorious clattering sound, one of the best sounds in all of sports.<\/p>\n

What if I just, I don’t know\u2026 roll the ball straight? No hooking it, just aim down the middle. Has anyone in bowling history ever even tried it? Probably not! I try it and make a strike. I try it again and make another strike. Frowning a bit, I roll the ball in a completely straight line again. Third strike.<\/em><\/p>\n

I’m also throwing it as hard as I can, which seems to help: the more the pins get bonked around by physics, the more other pins they’ll knock down. It’s working, so I decide to stick with it. I’ll be the bowler who just rolls the ball straight. I’m going to disrupt bowling.<\/p>\n

I immediately feel my legend growing. My brash newcomer who doesn’t play by the rules, and who I named Bo W. Lurr because I’m a really good writer, is routinely throwing strikes and then celebrating as if routinely throwing strikes isn’t exactly what he’s supposed to be doing. <\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n

\"Pro<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>

Just wait until I can afford matching pants. <\/span>(Image credit: FarSight Studios)<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I even develop an advanced version of my straight line approach I call\u2014hold onto your hats for this one\u2014the diagonal line<\/em>. Since hitting the pins head on comes with a risk of splits, I start hitting them from an angle. <\/p>\n

I’m not hooking the ball, I’m just rolling from the far corner of the lane and aiming for just off-center. And it’s working! I’m racking up more and more strikes and my cavorting after each becomes, impossibly, even more obnoxious.<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n

\"Pro<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>

The look is complete. <\/span>(Image credit: FarSight Studios)<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

A lot of bowling follows. Special events. Bracket tournaments. Literal dozens <\/em>of dollars earned that makes it possible for me to buy one new pair of pants. And at the moment I need it most, I bowl my all-time high of 236 with 9 strikes against a fake guy named Larry Ronseik who looks like a generic version of me. I’ve done it. I’ve won the central region qualifier. I’ve made it to the Pro Tour.<\/p>\n

First stop: a head-to-head match against a simulation of an actual pro bowler, Andrew Anderson. I’m suddenly worried my straight line bowling technique has just been an illusion and this guy is gonna mop the oily lanes with my stupid magenta beard. But I put Anderson down easily, scoring 235 to his\u2026 123.<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n

\"Pro<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>

Who do you think you are? I am! <\/span>(Image credit: FarSight Studios)<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I hate to admit it, but I can’t enjoy the victory because that doesn’t seem right. I’ve bowled 123 in real life, as a real person who isn’t good at bowling. A pro bowler with a 123? I have a quick dip into the game settings and my suspicions are confirmed. I’ve been bowling on “Rookie” difficulty this whole time. My groundbreaking bowling technique of never hooking the ball may, just may, be a huge crock of shit.<\/p>\n

I turn up the difficulty to “Pro,” take a deep, dismayed breath, and face-off against Anderson again. I get absolutely wrecked. I can only manage three strikes, I wind up in a nasty spare situation with a 1-4-5-7 split, and manage to miss all <\/em>of the damn pins\u2014one of my three <\/em>open frames in the game. It’s brutal and humbling.<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n

\"Pro<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>

Bowled over. <\/span>(Image credit: FarSight Studios)<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Just out of curiosity, I redo the qualifying bracket just to see if I even remotely <\/em>deserve to be a pro bowler. My first time through I came in first in every round. This time, under pro conditions, I place sixth overall\u2014which honestly isn’t terrible in a tournament of 32 pretend bowlers. Still, you need to place third to qualify, and I didn’t. It’s back to the duckpins for Bo W. Lurr.<\/p>\n

Performance evaluation<\/h2>\n
\n
\n

\"Pro<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Would I like to be a pro bowler IRL?<\/h3>\n
\n
\n

I met a pro bowler while I was temping. He was also temping. I think it’s probably a tough, not great-paying gig for 95% of them.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

\"Pro<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Would I make a good pro bowler IRL?<\/h3>\n
\n
\n

I couldn’t even be bothered to learn how to hook the ball in a game, so I doubt I’d have any shot of mastering it for real.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

\"Pro<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Is PBA Pro Bowling good?<\/h3>\n
\n
\n

Yeah, it really is! If you’re into bowling, you should try it, and even for someone like me, who doesn’t <\/em>usually go for bowling games, I dig it. Here it is on Steam<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n

Source<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

AI is coming to take my job, so I’d better start looking for a new one. Luckily, there are a ton of job simulators on Steam, and I’m going to play as many as I can until I find my next career. This week’s job: PBA Pro Bowling 2026, a bowling sim about bowling. As a new bowler on the amateur circuit, my first day isn’t going well. I’m trying to learn how to hook the ball\u2014to roll it in a curving pattern so it hits the pins at an angle\u2014and it turns out there’s quite a lot to it. You even have to consider the oil patterns on the alley and how they affect the ball. I didn’t know there was oil in bowling,…<\/p>\n

Read More…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1545266,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[336],"tags":[748,169],"class_list":["post-1545265","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pc-gamer","tag-games","tag-sports"],"yoast_head":"\nI tried to become a pro bowler but I skipped one important step: learning how to bowl | Arcader News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"AI is coming to take my job, so I'd better start looking for a new one. 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